Big Book Audiobook
Big Book Audiobook - Into Action
Big Book Audiobook · 29:06
Big Book Audiobook - Into Action is a recovery audio transcript in the Big Book Audiobook series from Big Book Audiobook. This 29:06 talk is searchable with synced captions and centers on Big Book, Spirituality, Alcoholism, Fear, Honesty.
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Chapter 6—Into Action
Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it?
We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to
discover the obstacles in our path.
We have admitted certain defects.
We have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is.
We have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory.
Now these are about to be cast out.
This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted
to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our defects.
This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter.
This is perhaps difficult, especially discussing our defects with another person.
We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves.
There is doubt about that.
In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient.
Many of us thought it necessary to go much further.
We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons
why we should do so.
The best reason first, if we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.
Time after time, newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives.
Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods.
Almost invariably, they got drunk.
Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell.
We think the reason is that they never completed their house cleaning.
They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock.
They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear.
They only thought they had humbled themselves.
But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness, and honesty, in the sense we
find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life.
He is very much the actor.
To the outer world, he presents his stage character.
This is the one he likes his fellows to see.
He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.
The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees.
Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers.
These memories are a nightmare.
He trembles to think someone might have observed him.
As far as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself.
He hopes they will never see the light of day.
He is under constant fear and tension.
That makes for more drinking.
Psychologists are inclined to agree with us.
We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations.
We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break.
We have seldom told them the whole truth, nor have we followed their advice.
Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else.
Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics
and their chance for recovery.
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.
Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom
to take this intimate and confidential step.
Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must and of course
will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it.
Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained
by an established religion.
We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem.
Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics.
If we cannot or would not rather do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mout
understanding friend.
Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person.
It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents
which will hurt them and make them unhappy.
We have no right to save our own skin at another person's expense.
Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand yet be unaffected.
The rule is we must be hard on ourselves but always considerate of others.
Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is
so situated that there is no suitable person available.
If that is so, this step may be postponed.
Only however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first
opportunity.
We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person.
It is important that he be able to keep a confidence, that he fully understand and
approve what we are driving at, that he will not try to change our plan.
But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.
When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time.
We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk.
We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it.
He should realize that we are engaged upon a life and death errand.
Most people approached in this way will be glad to help.
They will be honored by our confidence.
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character,
every dark cranny of the past.
Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted.
We can look the world in the eye.
We can be alone at perfect peace and ease.
Our fears fall from us.
We begin to feel the nearness of our creator.
We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual
experience.
The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly.
We feel we are on the broad highway, walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe.
Returning home, we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour,
carefully reviewing what we have done.
We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.
Taking this book down from our shelf, return to the page which contains the 12 steps.
Carefully reading the first five proposals,
we ask if we have omitted anything,
for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
Is our work solid so far?
Are the stones properly in place?
Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation?
Have we tried to make mortar without sand?
If we can answer to our satisfaction,
we then look at step six.
We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.
Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?
Can He now take them all, every one?
If we still cling to something, we will not let go.
We ask God to help us be willing.
When ready, we say something like this,
My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that You now remove from me every single defective character
which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows.
Grant me strength as I go out from here to do Your bidding.
Amen.
We have then completed step seven.
Now we need more action,
without which we find that faith without works is dead.
Let's look at steps eight and nine.
We have a list of all persons we have harmed
and to whom we are willing to make amends.
We made it when we took inventory.
We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal.
Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past.
We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort
to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.
If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes.
Remember, it was agreed at the beginning
we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
Probably there are still some misgivings.
As we look over the list of business acquaintances
and friends we have hurt,
we may feel difficult about going to some of them on a spiritual basis.
Let us be reassured.
To some people, we need not and probably should not
emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach.
We might prejudice them.
At the moment, we are trying to put our lives in order.
But this is not an end in itself.
Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God
and the people about us.
It is seldom wise to approach an individual
who still smarts from our injustice to him
and announce that we have gone religious.
In the prize ring, this would be called leading with a chin.
Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or religious boars?
We may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message.
But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire
to set right the wrong.
He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will
than in our talk of spiritual discoveries.
We don't use this as an excuse for shying away from the subject of God.
When it will serve any good purpose,
we are willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense.
The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise.
It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him.
And though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him,
we are still not too keen about admitting our faults.
Nevertheless, with a person we dislike,
we take the bit in our teeth.
It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend,
but we find it much more beneficial to us.
We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit,
confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret.
Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.
Simply, we tell him that we will never get over drinking
until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past.
We are there to sweep off our side of the street,
realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so,
never trying to tell him what he should do.
His faults are not discussed.
We stick to our own.
If our manner is calm, frank, and open,
we will be gratified with the result.
In nine cases out of ten, the unexpected happens.
Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault,
so feuds of years standing melt away in an hour.
Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress.
Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing
and wish us well.
Occasionally, they will offer assistance.
It should not matter, however,
if someone does throw us out of his office.
We have made our demonstration done our part.
It's water over the dam.
Most alcoholics owe money.
We do not dodge our creditors.
Telling them what we are trying to do,
we make no bones about our drinking.
They usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not.
Nor are we afraid of disclosing our alcoholism
on the theory it may cause financial harm.
Approached in this way,
the most ruthless creditor will sometimes surprise us.
Arranging the best deal we can,
we let these people know we are sorry.
Our drinking is made us slow to pay.
We must lose our fear of creditors,
no matter how far we have to go.
For, we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them.
Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense
which might land us in jail
if it were known to the authorities.
We may be short in our accounts and unable to make good.
We have already admitted this in confidence to another person,
but we are sure we would be imprisoned
or lose our job if it were known.
Maybe it's only a petty offense
such as padding the expense account.
Most of us have done that sort of thing.
Maybe we are divorced and have remarried
but haven't kept up the alimony to number one.
She's indignant about it
and has a warrant out for our arrest.
That's a common form of trouble too.
Although these reparations take innumerable forms,
there are some general principles which we find guiding.
Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths
to find a spiritual experience,
we ask that we be given strength and direction
to do the right thing,
no matter what the personal consequences may be.
We may lose our position or reputation or face jail,
but we are willing.
We have to be.
We must not shrink at anything.
Usually, however, other people are involved.
Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr
who would needlessly sacrifice others
to save himself from the alcoholic pit.
A man we know had remarried.
Because of resentment and drinking,
he had not paid alimony to his first wife.
She was furious.
She went to court and got an order for his arrest.
He had commenced our way of life,
had secured a position
and was getting his head above water.
It would have been impressive heroics
if he had walked up to the judge and said,
here I am.
We thought he ought to be willing to do that if necessary,
but if he were in jail,
he could provide nothing for either family.
We suggested he write his first wife,
admitting his faults and asking forgiveness.
He did and also sent a small amount of money.
He told her what he would try to do in the future.
He said he was perfectly willing to go to jail
if she insisted.
Of course, she did not,
and the whole situation has long since
been adjusted.
Before taking drastic action,
which might implicate other people,
we secure their consent.
If we have obtained permission,
consulted with others,
ask God to help,
and the drastic step is indicated,
we must not shrink.
This brings to mind a story about one of our friends.
While drinking, he accepted a sum of money
from a bitterly hated business rival,
giving him no receipt for it.
He subsequently denied having received the money
and used the incident as a basis
for discrediting the man.
He thus used his own wrongdoing
as a means of destroying the reputation of another.
In fact, his rival was ruined.
He felt that he had done a wrong
he could not possibly make right.
If he opened that old affair,
he was afraid it would destroy the reputation
of his partner,
disgrace his family,
and take away his means of livelihood.
What right had he to involve
those dependent upon him?
How could he possibly make a public statement
exonerating his rival?
After consulting with his wife and partner,
he came to the conclusion
that it was better to take those risks
than to stand before his creator
guilty of such ruinous slander.
He saw that he had to place the outcome
in God's hands
or he would soon start drinking again
and all would be lost anyhow.
He attended church for the first time
in many years.
After the sermon,
he quietly got up
and made an explanation.
His action met widespread approval
and today,
he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town.
This all happened years ago.
The chances are that we have domestic troubles.
Perhaps we are mixed up with women
in a fashion we wouldn't care to have advertised.
We doubt if, in this respect,
alcoholics are fundamentally
much worse than other people.
But drinking does complicate
sex relations in the home.
After a few years with an alcoholic,
a wife gets worn out,
resentful and uncommunicative.
How could she be anything else?
The husband begins to feel lonely,
sorry for himself.
He commences to look around in the nightclubs
or their equivalent
for something besides liquor.
Perhaps he's having a secret
and exciting affair
with the girl who understands.
In fairness,
we must say that she may understand.
But what are we going to do
about a thing like that?
A man so involved
often feels very remorseful at times,
especially if he is married
to a loyal and courageous girl
who has literally gone through hell for him.
Whatever the situation,
we usually have to do something about it.
If we are sure our wife does not know,
should we tell her?
Not always, we think.
If she knows in a general way
that we've been wild,
should we tell her in detail?
Undoubtedly, we should admit our fault.
She may insist on knowing
all the particulars.
She will want to know
who the woman is and where she is.
We feel we ought to say to her
that we have no right
to involve another person.
We are sorry for what we have done
and, God willing,
it shall not be repeated.
More than that, we cannot do.
We have no right to go further.
Though there may be
justifiable exceptions,
and though we wish to lay down
no rule of any sort,
we have often found this
the best course to take.
Our design for living
is not a one-way street.
It is as good for the wife
as for the husband.
If we can forget,
so can she.
It is better, however,
that one does not needlessly
name a person upon whom
she can vent jealousy.
Perhaps there are some cases
where the utmost frankness is demanded.
No outsider can appraise
such an intimate situation.
It may be that both will decide
that the way of good sense
and loving-kindness
is to let bygones be bygones.
Each might pray about it,
having the other one's happiness
uppermost in mind.
Keep it always in sight
that we are dealing with
that most terrible
human emotion, jealousy.
Good generalship may decide
that the problem be attacked
on the flank,
rather than risk of
face-to-face combat.
If we have no such complication,
there is plenty
we should do at home.
Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say
that the only thing
he needs to do
is to keep sober.
Certainly he must keep sober,
for there will be no home
if he doesn't.
But he is yet a long way
from making good
to the wife or parents
whom for years
he is so shockingly treated.
Passing all understanding
is the patience mothers
and wives have had
with alcoholics.
Had this not been so,
many of us would have
no homes today,
would perhaps be dead.
The alcoholic is like a tornado
roaring his way
through the lives of others.
Hearts are broken,
sweet relationships are dead,
affections have been uprooted,
selfish and inconsiderate habits
have kept the home in turmoil.
We feel a man is unthinking
when he says
that sobriety is enough.
He is like the farmer
who came up
out of his cyclone cellar
to find his home ruined.
To his wife he remarked,
don't say anything
no matter here Ma,
ain't it grand
the wind stopped blowing?
Yes, there is a long period
of reconstruction ahead.
We must take the lead.
A remorseful mumbling
that we are sorry
won't fill the bill at all.
We ought to sit down
with the family
and frankly analyze
the past as we now see it.
Being very careful
not to criticize them.
Their defects may be glaring,
but the chances are
that our own actions
are partly responsible.
So we clean house with the family.
Asking each morning in meditation
that our Creator show us
the way of patience, tolerance,
kindliness, and love.
The spiritual life
is not a theory.
We have to live it.
Unless one's family expresses
a desire to live
upon spiritual principles,
we think we ought
not to urge them.
We should not talk
incessantly to them
about spiritual matters.
They will change in time.
Our behavior will convince
them more than our words.
We must remember
that 10 or 20 years of drunkenness
would make a skeptic
out of anyone.
There may be some wrongs
we can never fully write.
We don't worry about them
if we can honestly say to ourselves
that we would write them
if we could.
Some people cannot be seen.
We send them an honest letter
and there may be a valid reason
for postponement in some cases,
but we don't delay
if it can be avoided.
We should be sensible,
tactful,
considerate, and humble
without being servile or scraping.
As God's people,
we stand on our feet.
We don't crawl before anyone.
If we are painstaking
about this phase of our development,
we will be amazed
before we are halfway through.
We are going to know
a new freedom
and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past
nor risk to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend
the word serenity
and we will know peace.
No matter how far
down the scale we have gone,
we will see how our experience
can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness
and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest
in selfish things
and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude
and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people
and of economic insecurity
will leave us.
We will intuitively know
how to handle situations
which used to battle us.
We will suddenly realize
that God is doing for us
what we could not do
for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises?
We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us
sometimes quickly,
sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize
if we work for them.
This thought brings us to step 10
which suggests we continue
to take personal inventory
and continue to set right
any new mistakes
as we go along.
We vigorously commence
this way of living
as we cleaned up the past.
We have entered the world
of the spirit.
Our next function is to grow
in understanding
and effectiveness.
This is not an overnight matter.
It should continue for our lifetime.
Continue to watch for selfishness,
dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
When these crop up,
we ask God at once to remove them.
We discuss them
with someone immediately
and make amends quickly
if we have harmed anyone.
Then we resolutely turn our thoughts
to someone we can help.
Love and tolerance of others
is our code.
And we have ceased fighting
anything or anyone,
even alcohol.
For by this time,
sanity will have returned.
We will seldom be interested
in liquor.
If tempted,
we recoil from it
as from a hot flame.
We react sanely and normally.
And we will find that
this has happened automatically.
We will see that our new attitude
toward liquor has been given us
without any thought
or effort on our part.
It just comes.
That is the miracle of it.
We are not fighting it.
Neither are we avoiding temptation.
We feel as though
we had been placed
in a position of neutrality,
safe and protected.
We have not even sworn off.
Instead, the problem has been removed.
It does not exist for us.
We are neither cocky
nor are we afraid.
That is our experience.
That is how we react
so long as we keep
in fit spiritual condition.
It is easy to let up
on the spiritual program of action
and rest on our laurels.
We are headed for trouble
if we do,
for alcohol is a subtle foal.
We are not cured of alcoholism.
What we really have
is a daily reprieve,
contingent on the maintenance
of our spiritual condition.
Every day is a day
when we must carry
the vision of God's will
into all of our activities.
How can I best serve Thee?
Thy will, not mine, be done.
These are thoughts
which must go with us constantly.
We can exercise our willpower
along this line all we wish.
It is the proper use of the will.
Much has already been said
about receiving strength,
inspiration,
and direction from Him
who has all knowledge and power.
If we have carefully
followed directions,
we have begun to sense
the flow of His Spirit into us.
To some extent,
we have become God-conscious.
We have begun to develop
this vital, sick sense.
But we must go further,
and that means more action.
Step 11 suggests prayer and meditation.
We shouldn't be shy
on this matter of prayer.
Better men than we
are using it constantly.
It works
if we have the proper attitude
and work at it.
It would be easy
to be vague about this matter.
Yet we believe we can make
some definite and valuable suggestions.
When we retire at night,
we constructively review our day.
Were we resentful, selfish,
dishonest, or afraid?
Do we owe an apology?
Have we kept something
to ourselves which should be discussed
with another person at once?
Were we kind and loving toward all?
What could we have done better?
Were we thinking of ourselves
most of the time?
Or were we thinking of
what we could do for others,
of what we could pack into
the stream of life?
But we must be careful
not to drift into worry,
remorse, or morbid reflection,
for that would diminish
our usefulness to others.
After making our review,
we ask God's forgiveness
and inquire what corrective measures
should be taken.
On awakening,
let us think about the 24 hours ahead.
We consider our plans for the day.
Before we begin,
we ask God to direct our thinking,
especially asking
that it be divorced from self-pity,
dishonest, or self-seeking motives.
Under these conditions,
we can employ our mental faculties
with assurance.
For after all,
God gave us brains to use.
Our thought life will be placed
on a much higher plane
when our thinking is cleared
of wrong motives.
In thinking about our day,
we may face indecision.
We may not be able to determine
which course to take.
Here, we ask God for inspiration
and intuitive thought or a decision.
We relax and take it easy.
We don't struggle.
We are often surprised
how right answers come
after we've tried this for a while.
What used to be the hunch
or occasional inspiration
gradually becomes a working part
of the mind.
Being still inexperienced
and having just made
conscious contact with God,
it is not probable
that we are going to be inspired
at all times.
We might pay for this presumption
in all sorts of absurd actions
and ideas.
Nevertheless, we find
that our thinking will,
as time passes,
be more and more
on the plane of inspiration.
We come to rely upon it.
We usually conclude
the period of meditation
with a prayer
that we be shown
all through the day
what our next step is to be,
that we be given
whatever we need
to take care of such problems.
We ask especially
for freedom from self-will
and are careful
to make no request
for ourselves only.
We may ask for ourselves,
however,
if others will be helped.
We are careful never to pray
for our own selfish ends.
Many of us have wasted
a lot of time doing that
and it doesn't work.
You can easily see why.
If circumstances weren't,
we ask our wives
or friends to join us
in morning meditation.
If we belong
to a religious denomination
which requires a definite
morning devotion,
we attend to that also.
If not members of religious bodies,
we sometimes select
and memorize
a few set prayers
which emphasize the principles
we have been discussing.
There are many helpful books also.
Suggestions about these
may be obtained
from one's priest,
minister, or rabbi.
Be quick to see
where religious people are right.
Make use of what they offer.
As we go through the day,
we pause when agitated
or doubtful
and ask for the right thought
or action.
We constantly remind ourselves
that we are no longer
running the show,
humbly saying to ourselves
many times each day,
thy will be done.
We are then in much less
danger of excitement,
fear, anger, worry,
self-pity,
or foolish decisions.
We become much more efficient.
We do not tire so easily,
for we are not
burning up energy foolishly
as we did when we were
trying to arrange life
to suit ourselves.
It works.
It really does.
We alcoholics are undisciplined,
so we let God discipline us
in the simple way
we have just outlined.
But this is not all.
There is action and more action.
Faith without works is dead.
The next chapter
is entirely devoted
to step 12.